Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize