just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just high enough for therapy.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
