Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
