Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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