Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
