its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
