Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
