so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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