god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
