Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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