Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
