Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life

(501): View more from Arkansas

3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.

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(480): View more from Arizona

dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties

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(540): View more from Virginia

You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?

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The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Read it at the TFLN blog
(918): View more from Oklahoma

I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.

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(641): View more from Iowa

Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.

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(614): View more from Ohio

we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"

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