I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Dating After Heartbreak
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.