i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink