All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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