I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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