She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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