She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
