You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
