Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
did you just send me my own nude
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
