so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
