The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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