don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
