drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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