Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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