The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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