I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
