How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
