i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
