my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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