Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
