You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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