last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The Olympian is in my bed
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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