sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize