Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
