I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Girls should come with a carfax report
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
