why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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