he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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