Your face is a jimmy john
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
