y did u give ur computer a hand job?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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