I hope mine doesn't look like that
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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