try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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