he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
