If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
