I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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