she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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