fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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