oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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