So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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