I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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