But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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