Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize