that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
