But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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