Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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