I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
