What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
