Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
