dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
