I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
